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TULSA, OK -- The "Brain Deads" is a new technique for talking to your kids.  Dr. Julie Powell-Thomas explains Brain Deads is a communication tool that can be used to respond to another's comments while remaining emotionally detached from the issue. 

Review the list below and select a few responses that you can easily use in your personal situation.

1. I'll have to give that some thought
2. Okay
3. That's an interesting perspective
4. I can see where you are coming from
5. I guess we could fight about that
6. Hmmm
7. I'll make a note of that
8. Maybe we could talk about that some time
9. That sounds like a problem
10. That's gotta be annoying
11. I understand
12. That's one way of looking at it
13. I hadn't thought of it that way
14. I see
15. I'll take that under advisement
16. Interesting
17. I hear you
18. That gives me something to think about
19. Thanks for clarifying that

Some examples:

Kid #1: "Nobody in the entire class likes you because you are so annoying."
Kid #2: "I'll have to give that some thought."

Teenager: "No one else's parents are as strict as you guys."
Parent: "I can see how it might seem that way."

Husband: "You always let the kids do things that you know I wouldn't agree to."
Wife: "That's one way of looking at it."

Feel free to make up a few of your own brain deads.  But remember, when you use them, be sure to use a neutral tone of voice so that the other person gets the message without hearing hostility or sarcasm.  This will help you disengage from the issue at hand and remove you from the conflict.

Julie Powell Thomas, Ph.D., Psychologist, 918 743-3224, www.tulsadevelopmental.com