Tulsa Woman Arrested In Husband's High-Rise Death Out On Bond

Ashli Sims, News On 6

TULSA, Oklahoma -- A Tulsa woman arrested in the death of her husband is out of jail.

Amber Hilberling, who is eight months pregnant, was being held for first degree murder in the death of her husband, Joshua Hilberling.  She was released after posting $250,000 bond Wednesday evening.

A protective order filed by Joshua Hilberling against his wife reveals a pattern of domestic violence and shines a light on an under-reported problem that can be deadly.

6/7/2011 Related Story: Tulsa Woman Jailed In Husband's High-Rise Death

Often the faces of domestic violence are a mother and her children. But abuse of men does happen and it can be deadly.

"Just how our culture views a man; it's not manly to be a victim," Missy Iski, Counseling Director at Domestic Violence Intervention Services, said.

Experts say out of every 100 domestic violence victims, 15 are men.

Court records indicate Joshua Hilberling might have been one of them.

Police say he plunged to his death after his wife pushed him out of a window on the 25th floor of his high-rise Tulsa apartment.

"When we looked into and we started getting more reports of domestic violence, where she was the aggressor, that's what led us to file a different, upgraded charge," Dave Walker, Tulsa Homicide Detective, said.

According to a protective order filed last month, the newlyweds didn't have the picture perfect marriage.

Joshua filed the report after an April incident. He claimed Amber threw a lamp at his head, opening a cut that required 21 staples and stitches.

He went on to say this wasn't the first time this had happened. He described his wife throwing things at him, fracturing his finger, punching him in the face and giving him a split lip, and pushing his head into a wall, cutting his head.

The protective order was dismissed two weeks later because the couple didn't show up to court.

"I think it is very difficult for a man to reach out and seek services." Iski said.

Missy Iski is in charge of counseling at Domestic Violence Intervention Services. She says men often wait longer to get help.

"Being in a violent relationship is something people are often ashamed of and will really work to hide it. I think with men they may even work harder," Iski said.

DVIS insists that there is help out there and any time a relationship erupts in violence you should get some help. Their number is 918-7HELPME, or 918-743-5763.