Holiday Sadness: A Tulsa Family's Story Of Loss
TULSA, Oklahoma - For some, the holidays can be a very difficult time. Some may be dealing with the recent loss of a loved one or someone close to you died around the holidays.
News On 6 spoke with two sisters who just lost their brother three days after Thanksgiving.
Their brother was just 42 years old, and his loss is even more painful because of all the losses they experienced before his death, stealing the joy of the holidays for years to come.
"I told myself the other day that I needed a Christmas tree and I tried to make myself look for one and the desire just wasn't there,” said Shawnda Baker.
Shawnda and Lowella Baker just lost their brother Robert 10 days ago.
"A part of me is gone,” said Lowella.
I wish there was more I could have done," added Shawnda.
They tell me Robert had kidney disease which was a factor in his death.
"I thought he had a seizure, but he had a heart attack and he died in my arms. It took them so long to start his heart that it damaged his brain and he just couldn't come back from it," said Lowella.
As they grieve the recent loss of Robert, they also grieve the loss of Lowella's step-son Nick Martinez.
"He was shot in the back five times," said Lowella.
Nick was murdered in September of 2017. He was just 17 years old.
They also lost their Uncle Keith Kaiser in November 2017. And their mom around Thanksgiving in 2008 from an illness.
"Everybody likes to say that time will heal the wounds but it really don't. It's a lie. My mom's been gone 10 years, there's not a day that goes by we don't miss her,” said Shawnda.
"Let go of expectations. As you approach maybe the first holiday without somebody, then things are going to feel different," said Joanna Majka of the Tristesse Grief Center.
Joanna is a counselor who works with grieving families.
"Maybe they add new traditions, maybe we let go, maybe it feels overwhelming the thought of doing some things the same but I think encouraging how do we keep our loved ones memory alive, what is that going to look like?" said Joanna.
Those are conversations Joanna says families should have.