Mayes County Family Understands Demands Of Alzheimer's Disease

By Terry Hood, The News On 6

MAYES COUNTY -- Health care has been in the spotlight in recent months, but many say the real crisis is yet to come. 

The rate of Alzheimer's disease could triple in the next 40 years, a tidal wave that experts say would overwhelm the nation's health care system. 

A family in Mayes County knows firsthand the heartbreak behind the statistics.

For more than a decade, Gaye Durham has measured her days by the demands of Alzheimer's disease. The battle began with her father in a way Durham could have never imagined.

"He became suspicious of mother having boyfriends," said Durham. "He would go through the house and look in the different bedrooms and everything and he just knew he was going to find somebody back there."

They were married for 60 years.

It was a good life, filled with family, fine cars and fishing trips, but Alzheimer's turned Durham's father into a different man, a violent man.

"He was going to kill her, choke her and he did that about three different times before she consented it was time to put him somewhere," said Durham.

Durham's father died from Alzheimer's seven years ago. Three years later, her mother was diagnosed.

"He never realized what was happening to him and mother does, very much so," said Durham.

Now, with the help of her husband Bud, Durham is her mother's caretaker.

Durham's mother, Edith, lives next door and depends on Durham and Bud for her every need.

It's a story that's repeated in tens of thousands of homes across America.

"There is a lot we don't know. We need more research," said Harry Johns, Alzheimer's Association CEO.

Johns is the President and CEO of the National Alzheimer's Association.

"The numbers on Alzheimer's are staggering. Already 5.3 million people have the disease and if we don't get a change by the middle of the century, that could be as many as 16 million people," said Johns.

That increase is largely due to longer life spans. Durham's mother celebrates her 89th birthday this week, but early-onset Alzheimer's can strike people in their 50's, or even younger.

"As the disease progresses, it's harder and harder to get her out of the house," said Durham.

For other families facing this crisis, Durham has some hard-earned words of advice:

"Don't try to do it by yourself because you can't do it. And if you can't take care of yourself, then you're not good to your loved ones," said Durham.

Durham says along with her husband, she has leaned heavily on the support and guidance of the Alzheimer's Association.