Coaches, wives enjoy Sooners football family atmosphere

NORMAN, Okla. (AP) _ Coaches and wives gather around folding tables piled with salad and bread. Strollers and diaper bags line the wall at the university's sports complex, and toddlers are teetering

Friday, December 1st 2000, 12:00 am

By: News On 6

NORMAN, Okla. (AP) _ Coaches and wives gather around folding tables piled with salad and bread. Strollers and diaper bags line the wall at the university's sports complex, and toddlers are teetering beside the buffet table.

It's family night for Sooners football.

Over lasagna or enchiladas or fried chicken, the coaches scoop up their preschoolers for hugs, laugh with their wives and catch up with their second families.

Babies snuggle in the arms of someone else's parents. Teen-agers tell their dads about school. And wives make plans for weekend shopping or movies.

In the toughest weeks of a demanding football season, family night on Wednesdays might be the one time a week that Oklahoma coach Bob Stoops and his staff have a relaxing meal with their families.

Their babies, about 10 among them, are often asleep when the coaches leave in the morning. And by the time they finish reviewing tapes or calling recruits, it's 8 or 9 at night.

That's why Stoops and his wife, Carol, worked to create a family atmosphere that the staff is almost as proud of as the team's 11-0 record and spot atop the national ranking.

``We are definitely there for each other, and you need to be,'' Mrs. Stoops said. ``None of us will ever live near our families, so this becomes your family. It came naturally.''

The Stoopses pay for the family dinners, which are catered by local restaurants and served in the coaches office complex. It's a practice they brought with them from the University of Florida, where Stoops spent three years as defensive coordinator.

The coaches' wives also are welcome on the team plane for every away game. Many schools allow wives to travel with the team to one game a year.

Mrs. Stoops says she drove to games alone too many times, arriving home hours after her husband. At Oklahoma, away games mean wives and husbands can spend time together _ without kids, who aren't invited on the plane.

``He would hate for me not to be on the trip,'' she said. ``I look at it as my time with my husband. That's the most important relationship there is. They are busy and focused, but they know you're there.''

At home games, the Sooners' family sits together around the 50-yard line. When the Stoopses came to Oklahoma two years ago, the tickets for wives and kids were spread all over Memorial Stadium.

``It just bothered me a lot not to be sitting right next to them,'' Mrs. Stoops said. ``Those are my friends. The only person that can truly understand your life ... is someone who's done it and who is a part of it.''

Other football wives know how it feels when some rowdy fan screams ugly names at their husbands. Other wives have to deal with their husbands' long hours and high stress before a big game.

``We get to the games and give each other a hug,'' Mrs. Stoops said. ``I just look so forward to it.''

The football family, for the most part, is a young one. The 10 coaches have 21 kids among them.

The Stoopses have 17-month-old twin sons and a 4-year-old daughter. Running back coach Cale Gundy and his wife, Kristi, have a new baby. So do tight ends coach Jonathan Hayes and his wife, also named Kristi.

Wide receivers coach Steve Spurrier Jr. is waiting for his first, second and third children. The triplets are due in March, and his wife, Melissa, is on bed rest until then. Several other coaches' wives have designated time each day to spend with her so she isn't lonely.

``We don't want her to have any lapses in time,'' said Mrs. Hayes, whose son Jaxson is 6 months old.

Mrs. Hayes said she loves knowing so many other young mothers. Get-togethers come with diaper bags, bottles and playpens.

``When we have family night, there will be strollers lined up as far as you can see,'' she said.

Some in the Sooners family have been like a family even before they were Sooners.

Bob and Carol Stoops attended college at Iowa with Jonathan Hayes and quarterbacks coach Chuck Long. Long's wife, Lisa, went there, too.

Spurrier, son of Florida coach Steve Spurrier, worked with Stoops in Gainesville, Fla., then accompanied him to Oklahoma.

Then there's Mike Stoops, associate head coach and Bob Stoops' younger brother.

``We've been like a family for a long time,'' Mrs. Stoops said. ``But you wouldn't know who knew each other longer. We're all close.''