Murdered Loved Ones Remembered In Tulsa

By Dan Bewley, The News On 6

TULSA, OK -- After two years of waiting, a Tulsa family is just weeks from seeing the man accused of killing their loved one go to trial.

Michael Dubin was killed two years ago Saturday, now his family is encouraging other family members of murdered or missing loved ones to reach out for help.

"I miss him hugging me. I miss the way he smelled," said Janice Ogden, Michael Dubin's mother.

Janice Ogden's son was murdered two years ago Saturday.

"Michael was crazy and fun. He liked to ride motorcycles. He knew everybody; he never met a stranger, that's what got him into this mess," said Janice Ogden.

Michael Dubin was killed when police say Carl Akins, the estranged husband of his girlfriend, hired someone to kidnap and kill him.

Akins has since pleaded guilty to soliciting murder and kidnapping, while the man police say actually pulled the trigger, Isaiah Jennings, is set for trial in September.

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There's a lot of fear, a lot of not knowing what's going to happen, a lot of sleepless nights," said Janice Ogden.

Janice Ogden is now living in a world she never expected, but is reaching out to other family members of murdered and missing loved ones. They gathered Saturday to help each other cope and learn how to deal with devastating loss.

It's healing. It's people reaching out. It's friendships and a network of people reaching out to help other hurting families," said Catherin Doak, who organized the event.

Ogden says meeting with those who have also lost a loved one through violence is one of many steps on the road to recovery.

Dozens of family members met to talk about a number of issues, including how to deal with the stress of a trial, how to deal with the media and to learn more about the ins and outs of the justice system. They say GriefShare meetings provide much needed support.

"So you have to reach out to the people that are going through the same thing you are because no one can understand what it's like to lose a child unless they have," said Janice Ogden.

Ogden admits the pain doesn't get any better over the years, but says a support group is a simple way to deal with the burden.

"It doesn't get easier. It always hurts. There are always days when there are tears and you go on, you go on with your life," said Janice Ogden.

Learn more about help for family members of murdered or missing loved ones.