Helping Tulsa students deal with the murder of one of their classmates

The brutal murder of a 10-year-old Tulsa girl in March is still fresh on the minds of many students and parents at Hoover Elementary School. <br/><br/>Elizabeth Wagoner was found dead in a dumpster near

Thursday, April 13th 2006, 10:47 am

By: News On 6

The brutal murder of a 10-year-old Tulsa girl in March is still fresh on the minds of many students and parents at Hoover Elementary School.

Elizabeth Wagoner was found dead in a dumpster near her house last month. Tulsa Police have a suspect in custody, but community leaders want to do all they can to make sure a horrible crime like this doesn't happen again. That's why there was a special program Thursday afternoon at Elizabeth's school.

News on 6 anchor Terry Hood says more than 50 parents and almost 100 students stayed after school to ask the questions they've been wondering about since Elizabeth's death.

A crisis counselor, a Tulsa Police detective, and the district attorney were on hand to reassure kids and parents that family's can feel safe again.

Tips for how to deal with strangers and what to do in situations when children are alone, help. But parents say they still need more time before things seem back to normal.

Tulsa Police Sgt Whitney Allen says as scary as it might seem, it is absolutely essential to discuss situations with your children and have a plan so your kids know what to do before they are caught in a potentially dangerous situation.

Sgt Whitney Allen of the Tulsa Police Department's Child Crisis Unit says many crimes committed against children can be prevented.

- The most important key to child safety is effective communication with your child.

- We maybe sending a confusing message to our children by teaching them â€œStranger Danger.â€ Children may not understand the term STRANGER. Most children will describe a stranger as someone who is ugly or mean. They donâ€™t perceive nice-looking or friendly people as strangers.

- Experience has shown us that most children are actually taken by someone they are familiar with. If someone talks to a child or is even around them once, that person loses their â€œstrangerâ€ status.

- It is more appropriate to teach children to be on the lookout for certain types of situations or actions rather than certain kinds of individuals.

- Children can be raised to be polite and friendly, but it is okay for them to be suspicious of any adult asking for assistance.

- Children help other children, but there is no need for them to be assisting adults. Adults should not be asking for assistance from children.

- Children should learn to stay away from adults in vehicles, and they should know that it is okay to say NO, even to an adult.

- Parents and guardians should explain to children that the childâ€™s personal safety is more important than being polite.

- Children should be taught to tell things that make them uncomfortable to a trusted adult.

- Kids need to be empowered with positive messages and safety skills that will build their self-esteem and self confidence while helping to keep them safe.

- A clear, calm, and reassuring message about situations and actions to lookout for is easier for a child to understand than a particular profile or image of a stranger.

BASIC SAFETY RULES FOR CHILDREN
- As soon as children can articulate a sentence, they can begin the process of learning how to protect themselves against abduction and exploitation.

- If you are in a public place and you get separated from your parents or guardian, donâ€™t wander around looking for them. Go to a uniformed police officer or a store employee with a name tag.

- You should not get into a vehicle and go anywhere with any person unless your parent or guardians have told you it is okay to do so on that day.

- If someone in a vehicle follows you, stay away from them and turn around and run in the opposite direction.

- If someone is following you on foot, run away as fast as you can and tell a trusted adult what happened.

- Grownups should not be asking children for help. They should be asking other grownups.
- No one should be asking you for directions, asking you to help look for something like a â€œlost puppyâ€ or telling you your mother or father is in trouble and he or she will take you to them.

- If someone tries to take you somewhere, quickly get away from them and yell or scream.

- If someone tries to grab you, make a scene and make every effort to get away by
kicking, screaming, and resisting.

- Try to take a friend with you anywhere you go.

- If someone wants to take your picture, tell them NO and then tell a trusted adult.

- No one should touch you in parts of your body that would be covered by a bathing suit, nor should you touch anyone else in those areas. Your body is special and private.

- You have the right to say NO to someone who tries to take you somewhere, touch you, or makes you feel scared, uncomfortable, or confused in any way.

- If your child does share a problem with you, strive to remain calm, noncritical, and nonjudgemental.