Some Neighbors Voice Concerns About Proposed Tulsa Girls' Home

The proposed Tulsa Girls' Home is getting ready to go before a planning and zoning board to get approval for its site. Neighbors are asking the board to deny the nonprofit's request since the property is currently zoned for agricultural use.

Previous Story: Tulsa Girls' Home Ready To Welcome 8 Girls In Foster Care

The Tulsa Girls' Home applied for a variance to operate on an existing property that falls under agricultural zoning. Co-Founder Brittany Stokes says the home sits on 5 acres in Sapulpa and would house 8 teen girls in foster care.

"If not here, where,” said Brittany Stokes, President & Co-Founder of TGH.

"These girls have to exist somewhere. We can't hide them where we don't want to see them or move so far out to where services aren't available," said Stokes. "Not everyone understands. Not everyone wants to have a conversation."

Neighbor Cindy Kerr is concerned by the uncertainty.

"There's a place for them. It's just not here. I don't want to be seen as the bad person cause my whole heart is in it for their mission," said Kerr. “I do believe the girls' home needs a place. I would be the first to volunteer. To work with these girls to give them a chance. But the home needs to be secluded and not next door."

Kerr's sister lives and works near the Tulsa Boys Home which is home to more than 60 boys and is on 160 acres and said she’s had troubles because of it.

"Tulsa boys home started small and look at it now,” said Kerr.

Kerr said she doesn't want to deal with similar issues.

"You want to think that they're all going to be good. The problem is our hearts want them to be good and want to see the good in everybody but that's not the realization of it. You can't project and predict what you will get in those 8 girls," said Kerr. "Not all of them have the ability to be rehabilitated."

Stokes has no intention of housing more than 8 girls at this location with a licensed staff providing 24/7 supervision. She said the girls will be in school during the day, they won't have cars, boys aren't allowed, and it's lights out at 9:30 p.m.

"This is not a home that is a frat house or a big party. We are a home that is really helping these girls heal and find rest," said Stokes.

Maggie Raby lives across the street.

"This is a quiet area. We live a quiet life here. You'll find that a lot of the residents are elderly,” said Raby.

She said many residents have lived in their homes for 20+ years and take pride in the lifestyle they lead.

“I feel that putting a commercial property in that area will affect the property values in this area, both directly and indirectly," said Raby. “Your kids can have pigs. They can train them for the Creek County fair. They can have some livestock. You can enjoy the benefits in an agricultural setting and just have one family."

Raby said they’re not implying there shouldn’t be a group home for girls.

"I'm saying it's in the wrong location," said Raby.

Dr. John DeGarmo is a foster care expert, founder of the Foster Care Institute, and a global keynote speaker and presenter who has addressed the subject in a TED Talk.

He’s been a foster parent to more than 60 kids and said it’s been the most challenging thing he’s ever done, but also the most rewarding thing he’s ever done.

“Foster care is really struggling right now. There are many challenges regarding foster care. We have seen more children flooding into a foster care system and not enough parents not only in Oklahoma but across the country,” said Dr. DeGarmo. “We know that during COVID child abuse has spiked. We know that human trafficking has spiked.”

Dr. DeGarmo said the Creek County community could change the narrative of foster care.

"We have seen a rise, an increase, 51% of attempted suicide by teenage girls, yet there are not enough people who are able to help these children. This home is absolutely essential not just for the girls but for the entire community," said Dr. DeGarmo.

Dr. DeGarmo said places like Tulsa Girls Home not only provide a place of stability, structure, consistency, and love but also teach them important skills.

“Living skills, social skills, nutritional skills,” said Dr. DeGarmo.

He said the statistics for kids who age out of foster care are very grim.

“55% will drop out of school, 65% will end up homeless, 75% will end up incarcerated. Tulsa Girls Home is gonna stop that, prevent that, turn that around,” said Dr. DeGarmo, “At the same time, it’s also helping the birth parents of these girls because their birth parents see their daughters healing and thriving and a part of them is going to heal as well knowing that their child is taken care of.”

Dr. DeGarmo said not everyone can take in foster kids, but everyone can help in some capacity. He said by supporting TGH, the community can help provide a place of refuge to stop the cycle.

“As the Director of Youth Services of Creek County, a children’s shelter and counseling agency, I am excited for TGH to open early next year,” Creek County executive director of youth services and licensed clinical service worker Erin Brook said. “Too often, teens remain in shelters too long simply because of their age. TGH will offer a home to our state’s most vulnerable population. A place where teen girls will learn crucial life skills for a successful adulthood. We welcome TGH and are excited to partner with them to improve the outcome of teen girls in foster care.”

Jen Lilley, best known for her acting in Hallmark movies, serves on the Tulsa Girls Home Board and has made her stance very clear on social media.

"This is an opportunity for Creek County to make history not just for the state but to really set the stage for the nation,” said Lilley.

Lilley said a lot of thought and planning has gone into all of this.

"This is not just a situation where you're putting girls in a home and then leaving them to sort it out,” said Lilley.

Lilley said these girls aren’t bad, rather they are victims who have had bad things happen to them.

"I'm a Christian and I feel like I've encountered the love of Jesus and when you've encountered the love of Jesus you want to give that love to other people,” said Lilley. "I can't stand the idea of girls 12 through 18 probably the hardest years of your life as a girl feeling like they're unworthy of society, unworthy of education, unworthy of anything that is a basic human right."

Lilley said the community needs to rally around these girls and help show them their worth so that they can be successful and live out their full potential.

"What you're really looking at in the long run is lowering teen pregnancy. Increasing graduation rate. Increasing employment rate. Lowering welfare rate. Lowering homelessness because these children have nowhere to go. If we don't house them, the only place that will house them are homeless shelters and that's not a solution for a 12-year-old girl," said Lilley.

The Creek County Planning Office had more information regarding variances.

“Applications for a variance can be obtained from our website or in person from our office. The fee for applying for a variance is $110.00, payable at the time of submission. A variance is required when a proposed land use does not comply with the Creek County Planning and Zoning Code or does not fit within a special exception use or use by right in the land's current zoning classification. The appropriate time to file a variance is before a use begins so that a use does not violate the code. As far as when an applicant files prior to the use commencing, that is a judgement call of the applicant. The process for a variance begins with the application, followed by docketing the request at the next meeting based on a filing deadline. The filing deadline is 30 days before the meeting in which the item will appear. This office provides the members of the appropriate board a packet of information submitted, including any attachments to the application, complaints, maps, etc. approximately 15 days before the meeting. At the public meeting, items are heard by the board beginning with a brief statement of the request by the planning office, followed by comments of the applicant, and comments for or against the request made by members of the public in attendance. After the case has been heard, the board will discuss the request and take action or pass the item to its next meeting (if additional information or time to decide is needed). An official, final written decision is prepared and filed for record in the County Clerk's land records after the meeting. There is a statutory process for appealing a decision of the board, and either side of the request may seek that remedy pursuant to Oklahoma law.”

The Creek County Planning and Zoning Board will meet Tuesday at 5 p.m.